


i spy with my little eye...

by improbablyamartian



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: I lied, Poor Hunk, Save them, When You're Running From Giant Flying Eyeballs, lance is also done with life, shiro is seriously just done with life, these poor children are suffering, they are all done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 13:09:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20995337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/improbablyamartian/pseuds/improbablyamartian
Summary: The paladins were supposed to be on vacation.It’s never that easy, though, is it?---A vacation gone wrong and a clueless Coran.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! This is my first actual fic posted on a03! I'm planning on it being a two-parter, but that may change. Leave me comments so I don't forget this story exists! Feel free to point out any spelling mistakes/weird wording. 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! This is my first actual fic posted on a03! I'm planning on it being a two-parter, but that may change. Leave me comments so I update faster! Feel free to point out any spelling mistakes/weird wording.  
Edit: This is now a three-parter. I'll try to get the final part written and posted in the next couple of days.  
Edit: Added some stuff to make the final chapter make more sense!
> 
> Enjoy!

The paladins were supposed to be on vacation.

It’s never that easy, though, is it?

They had discovered a world, not unlike Earth, called Nool, which had a huge ocean with non-acidic water, pristine beaches, and a clean atmosphere. The residents, who introduced themselves as the Noolians, were happy to let them land the Castle and take a day to themselves.

Unfortunately, they had neglected to mention the giant, laser-shooting, flying EYEBALLS.

So yeah, they were having a bad day.

\----

Pidge sprinted across the sand, slipping and sliding as it shifted under her feet. She could feel the sand stinging her shins. It was just Paladin Luck™ that they would be in their swimsuits while facing giant flying eyeballs. Of course, they had thought it was okay to leave the lions at the Noolian’s capitol building. It was about a two varga long ride back in a shuttle. Their best chance was to get back to the Castle.

Ahead of her, Keith activated his bayard and shield and spun on his heel, facing the eyeball with a determined look in his eye.

That was Keith for you: he brought his bayard to the beach.

Pidge came to a sliding spot just behind him, just barely catching the knife (What the quiznak?) he tossed her and settled into a fighting stance. The two watched as the eyeball - sorry, the Noolians had called it an ‘Oculus’ before hiding (cowards) - flew laboriously towards them. The Oculus’s pupil started to glow red.

“Brace yourself, Pidge!” Keith ordered.

“Brace your_self_,” she muttered. “You’re the one it’s aiming at.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

He glanced back at her, eyes narrowed, and was blasted into the sand as the Oculus’s blast nailed his shield.

Oops.

\----

Shiro was done. First that slime monster last week - it took three showers to get that stuff out of his hair - then the encounter with the Weblum yesterday (one encounter with a giant space worm was enough. Two was _stressful_.) and now this.

Giant. Quiznaking. Eyeballs.

“Oculi, Shiro, Oculi,” Hunk calmly corrected.

Crap. He must be really out of it if he was thinking out loud- No. He must be _really_ out of it because Hunk was acting calmly in a dangerous situation.

“Yeah, you are,” Hunk said, taking a shot over his shoulder at one of the two Oculi following them. He truly had gotten much better with his bayard. “I’m barely holding back screaming as it is. We’re almost back to the Castle, come on, run a little faster.”

Ok. Shiro could do that.

\----

Of course Lance was alone. Of course. He had been rudely interrupted while changing into his swimsuit by the giant earthquake caused when the Oculi woke up. The only good thing about that was that he had just enough time to slip his armor back on and grab the paladins’ stuff before the changing house had collapsed. An Oculus had then chased him into the thick jungle behind the building, and now he was semi-lost. He was just glad he had his helmet with built-in comms.

_"Lance, there's a small lake about 5 dobashes ahead. If you follow the edge, there's a path that will lead you back to the Castle."_

He was alone in the jungle with only Allura in his ear navigating him while lugging a heavy bag of paladin armor. He cursed the universe and climbed to the top of a large fallen tree, dropped the bag down the other side, then slipped and fell after it.

"Quiz you!" Lance screamed at no one in particular. He ignored Allura's gasp. "Quiznak!" 

It really wasn’t his day, was it?

\----

Allura knew she should have been on the beach with the paladins, but she had really wanted to keep working. She was in the middle of recovering Altea’s historical texts from the part of the database that had been corrupted by Sendak, and she wanted to finish it as soon as possible. As a result, she had not been with the paladins when they were attacked by the Oculi.

Now, she watched the paladins approach the castle, and wished that she had gone with them, if only to help them fight off the Oculi. For now, all she could do was help Lance navigate back to the Castle.

\----

Coran was having a great day. No. The _best_ day. While the paladins went to the beach, he had taken a spa day and was thoroughly enjoying it.

He washed off the face mask he had borrowed (read: stolen) from Lance and climbed into the hot tub. He sunk into the water, welcoming its heat. The tub rumbled underneath him, and he slipped a little farther into the water, letting it lull him to sleep.

He wondered if the paladins were having as good a time as he was.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk looked at the ceiling, considered it for a second, and screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! I can't believe that I've got this chapter up so soon! Hope you guys enjoy it!  
Also, I edited Part 1 a bit.
> 
> Enjoy!

Katie rushed over to Keith, who was sprawled out on the sand, his bayard beside him, deactivated. 

"You okay?" She asked.

He hauled himself up, rejecting the hand she offered. His eyes were on the Oculus. "Yeah, no thanks to you."

"Sorry."

"No,” he corrected, bending over to quickly snatch his bayard. His eyes never left the Oculus. “You're only sorry that I got hurt."

She smirked. "Correct."

The Oculus's eye started to glow again, and Keith tugged Pidge into a run. The two took off again, headed for the jungle.

\----

Hunk hauled Shiro into the Castle and slammed the door shut behind them. The two stumbled into the lounge, and after Hunk had made sure that Shiro wasn't going to die or anything, he went to his room and promptly broke down.

Why did this kind of stuff always happen to him? He tried to breathe deeply but ended up hyperventilating more. Of course _he_ was the one stuck with Shiro the _one time_ the other man was at the end of his line. The poor man had hardly slept after Sendak, and now, when they finally get a break, it’s taken away from him.

Hunk’s breathing finally started to slow and his thoughts started to clear. He walked towards the door, figuring he’d cook to get through the last of the panic. Shiro would probably appreciate something, since- Oh crap. Hunk left him in the lounge. Alone. In the middle of a full-on freak-out.

Quiznak.

He decided that he was totally justified in sitting back down and getting panicked all over again. He could cook something later.

\---

Lance groaned. “Sorry, Allura. I’m just done with this. Is it too much to ask for just one day of calm?”

_“I’m afraid that a paladin’s job is never done,”_ she replied.

“Uggh.”

Lance considered the forest ahead of him for a long second, then scooped up the bag of gear and set off again. After several dobashes, he reached the lake Allura had mentioned.

_ “If you go to the right- Ah! Hunk and Shiro have made it back to the castle!” _

“Good for them. Great. Just wonderful. What were you saying, Allura? I’d  _ also _ like to make it back to the castle in one piece.”

_ “If you go to the right, you will reach the castle quicker- Actually, no. Don’t go right. Go left.” _

Lance had a bad feeling about this. “What is it, Princess?”

_ “You really don’t want to know. Just go left and keep out of sight of the right side of the lake. And run. Run! Very fast Lance, RUN.” _

Lance ran.

\----

Allura was glad that Hunk and Shiro were back, but she was worried about Lance. The right side of the lake he was trekking around was currently being searched by six Oculi. She hoped that they didn’t notice him. He was carrying all of the paladins’ gear and if they were to help out Pidge and Keith, they were going to need them.

She switched her focus to the castle cameras for a moment. Shiro was in the lounge, huddled on the floor, and Hunk was pacing in his room. She wondered what they were doing. As she watched, Hunk sat on the floor and started rocking back and forth.

“Oh dear,” she thought aloud, “That does not bode well.”

\----

This was not going well. Three times, Hunk had started to calm down, and three times he devolved into hysteria once again. He rocked back and forth, trying to distract himself and horribly failing.

He hadn’t had one this bad since that time that Iverson yelled at him ten times in an hour. (He had gone to the nurse’s office and missed classes for two days.)

Hunk looked at the ceiling, considered it for a second, and screamed.

\----

Coran woke up to a sound he couldn’t identify. By the time he was awake enough to try to identify it, it had stopped. 

He was feeling very relaxed. His previously sore muscles were blissfully pain-free and he felt quite refreshed after his nap. He clambered out of the hot tub and dried off, slipping into a robe. Then, he proceeded to wax his mustache. It was his pride and joy, and all the sweating he had been doing stressing about Zarkon and Haggar had not done it any good.

Ahhh. That was exactly what he had needed. He was so glad that everyone was getting a relaxing vacation day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coran is seriously one of my favorite characters.
> 
> Edit 11/2/19: PS- if you notice any typos, grammar mistakes, or weird verb tenses, let me know! I'll go in, find it, and fix it


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Safe in the forest, Keith wished that he had a long-distance weapon for the first time. Then he could blow the two quiznaking eyes out of the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update, but I finally got some beta on this and had to wait until it was sufficiently edited. Enjoy!

Keith ran as fast as he could, Pidge on his heels. If he could just make it to the jungle before the Oculus charged up its next shot…

They were maybe 10 feet away from the tree line when twin blasts of laser energy hit the sand just to the right and left of them. Keith tripped, but Pidge grabbed him by the elbow, hauled him up, and they sprinted the last few feet.

Safe in the forest, Keith wished that he had a long-distance weapon for the first time. Then he could blow the two quiznaking eyes out of the sky.

\----

Shiro wasn’t sure where he was. He thought he sort of remembered being guided (carried?) into the Castle (?) but he had been a little wrapped up in his own worries to really notice. There was something cushioning his back, and he was definitely on the floor, but that was all he was really sure of through the fog in his head.

All he could think was something along the lines of this:  _ No, I’m letting them down, no, no, no, REALLY HORRIBLE TIMING SHIRO, why me? No, no, no, What did I do wrong? (no) _

This wasn’t his proudest moment. Shiro had only started getting panic attacks after he was captured by the Galra ( _ cold steel, cell, chains, screaming, fighting, blood, so much blood _ ) but, since arriving at the Castle, had pushed them back. Everyone was counting on him - he couldn’t let them down. He had to be a strong leader. He couldn’t lose them. ( _ a young face, staring at him, frightened, an older man, his glasses glinting the same shade of silver as his hair _ ) He -

“Um, Shiro?” Who was that? Oh. Hunk.

“Yes?” He stopped rocking (he hadn’t even realized he was doing that) and looked up.

“Would you like a cookie?”

“ _ Yes _ .”

\----

Keith had traded Pidge the bayard for his knife and was hacking through the vines. (Was it just her or were those vines moving? Were sentient vines even possible? Were they even vines? That, unfortunately, was something to be examined and thoroughly researched at a later date.)

“Pidge. Do you have that holo-map Allura downloaded to our communicators?”

Oh. duh. She was supposed to be the smart one, and now Mr. strike-first-thinks-with-his-blade was the one with a reasonable idea. Oof. “Yeah, I do. Let me just pull that up.”

They stopped so that Pidge could fiddle with her (thankfully waterproof) wrist communicator. After a second, a map pops up, a blinking neon green dot signaling their location. 

“This,” she says, indicating the dot. “is us.  _ This _ is the castle.” She zoomed out and scrolled over a bit, then indicated a light pink symbol. Then, she zoomed back in and pointed to another dot, blue this time. “It currently only shows me and Lance since  _ you _ , Hunk, and Shiro took off your communicators.”

“Don’t sound so exasperated.”

“I’m not. I’m disappointed. If you had yours, we wouldn’t have to worry about splitting up.”

“Whatever.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

\----

Lance stumbled out of the jungle. He would have yelled in excitement at the sight of the Castle ahead if he hadn’t been so exhausted. The bag of armor dug into his back and his breath came in short, rapid bursts. 

_ “Lance, I know that you are exhausted, but you might want to sprint this last bit.” _

“There’s like three Oculi behind me, aren’t there?”

_ “...Something like that, yes.” _

“You know what, Princess? I’m done. I am going to rest my legs and just shoot them out of the sky or something.”

Allura sighed, the sound a static crackle in his ear.  _ “Be careful, Lance. I will activate the Castle defenses and send Hunk and Shiro out to aid you if I can get them to move.” _

“Get them to...?” Lance stopped. Oh. They must both be doing pretty bad, huh? Quiznak. “Nevermind. Don’t bother them unless I’m doing really badly. They need their rest.”

_ “...Ok. But I reserve the right to make that call,” _ she said, reluctantly.

Lance slung the bag onto his back, scaled a nearby purple-leaved tree, and settled down to wait for the Oculi.

\----

Pidge and Keith emerged from the forest, their assailants successfully lost.

Keith’s skin was dripping with sweat, summoned through a combination of the humidity and the effort that came with hacking through a forest. “I thought that we would never lose those eyeballs.”

“And the apparently carnivorous vines.”

“And the vines. Can’t forget those.” He shuddered. “Actually, I’d rather forget them.”

He held a hand up to the sun and squinted at the land around them. Keith looked left, right - “Hey. Is that the Castle? It’s to our right, correct?”

Were they setting off fireworks or something in the forest? There was some sort of bright light, almost blaster-like--oh. It  _ was _ blasters.

Pidge consulted her map for the zillionth time.

“Um, yeah. Point it out to me?”

He did so. 

“Um. That looks bad. Looks like gunfire and,” she squinted a little harder. “Oculi? If we jog, we can probably make it there in time to help. As much as we can without armor, that is. Man, this is so annoying. Let’s get going - hopefully, we’ll get there before anything nasty finds us again.”

“Alright.”

\----

Lance’s finger was getting tired of pulling the trigger. Just his luck - there hadn’t been three Oculi following him, or even four, no. There were six  _ quiznaking _ Oculi following him. (And shooting at him)

Just his luck. For the millionth time, he cursed their oh-so-wonderful idea to leave the Lions at the Noolian’s capitol building. He could really use some lion power right now.

And the worst part about all of this: they just wouldn’t go down. Despite being giant eyeballs, they were super resilient. The eye wasn’t actually vulnerable at all. It seemed to be covered in a protective film of some sort. So, instead, Lance had to aim for the wings, which seemed to be the only part of the Oculi that actually had pain receptors.

He had managed to get one Oculus, but there were still five fully functional Oculi merrily blasting away at him. Luckily, the trees of Nool had some sort of Oculi-blast resistant leaves.  _ His _ blasts went through them, just not the Oculi’s. He’d have to ask Pidge or Coran about that later. (He wondered where Coran was. Allura hadn’t mentioned him at all.)

He would probably be a very crispy paladin right now if not for that fact. The Castle was tantalizingly close, but the Oculi were now blocking his way. Allura had activated the Castle’s defenses, but for some reason, (maybe the same reason the Oculi couldn’t blast through the leaves) the Castle’s blasts had phased right through the darn things.

Of course. Paladin Luck™ at its finest.

So here he was, their last (and only) line of defense, shooting at practically invulnerable eyeballs and hoping for the best. And for Hunk, Shiro, Pidge, and Keith to get their butts to him and help out. Hunk’s blaster (although a lion would be more like it) would be really helpful right about now.

“Lance!”

What?

He looked towards the sound of his name, and lo and behold, there were Keith and Pidge.

“Where are Hunk and Shiro?” Keith yelled up to Lance as he dodged Oculi blasts.

“Let me guess. Freaking out. Hunk was  _ this _ close to breaking down before all of this.”

Lance jumped, his next shot going way off. Somehow, without him noticing, Pidge had scaled the tree and wedged herself into the foliage to his left.

“Quiznak, Pidge, give a guy some warning next time!”

“But am I right?” (She looked way too smug)

“...I think so.” Lance hesitated for a moment, then raised his voice a bit so Keith could hear him. “Your armor is in the bag. You should probably put it on.” He nodded to the branch behind him, where he had hung the aforementioned bag.

Pidge nodded and immediately started digging through the bag. Keith climbed up the tree and joined her, shoving her over to make space for himself.

(Pidge pumped her hand in the air when she found her bayard. “YES. Keith, my bayard is so much nicer than your weird knife. Offense intended.”)

“So why aren’t we getting our butts in the castle and leaving?” Pidge asked.

“Path,” Lance took a shot,  _ finally _ shooting down another Oculus. “Blocked.”

“Why don’t we just make a run for it? Neither Keith nor I have long-distance weapons, but now we have our bayards and armor, if we all run close together and hold our shields together, we can probably make it without too much battle damage.”

Lance ducked down into the foliage and looked at her, then at Keith, both now armored up. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

\----

Coran, freshly relaxed and refreshed, made his way to the Castle control room. As he neared it, he heard loud voices.

“-obviously had the worst situation. I had to hold off six Oculi by myself!”

“Yeah right, Keith and I were the furthest, and we didn’t have armor or either of our bayards.”

“Oh my god guys, just shut up and eat my stress-baked cookies, please.”

Hmm. What was that all about? Perhaps they were talking about a video game of some sort?

He entered the control room. “Hullo, everybody! Did you have as good a time as I did? My bath was very relaxing! How was the beach?”

He was met with silence. Five paladins, in varying states of disarray, (were those burn marks on Keith’s armor?) stared at him. Then, everyone started talking all at once.

“Did he seriously-” 

“-my god how did he miss-”

“There was this sound, like a rumble-”

“-good day?  _ Good day?! _ No-”

“-can not believe he has no idea what happened.”

“Guys, please stop talking.”

“We had the worst-”

“-I was like, quiznak! And then-”

“-had  _ six _ Oculi on my tail-”

“-had his bayard, like  _ of course _ .”

“Paladins, quiet down!”

“-was completely out of commission and then  _ I _ started-”

“-vines were alive and we had to-”

“-cookies!  _ Hunk _ , you big gassy genius!”

“I was just stress-”

“EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP.”

Silence. All the heads in the room turned towards the voice: Shiro. The black paladin looked very frazzled. The bags under his eyes were dark, and his eyes themselves were bloodshot. It gave him almost a crazed look.

“I am having a  _ very _ bad week. We all are, honestly. Coran, long story short, there were giant flying eyeballs that shot lasers at us. I don’t think any of us even made it into the water. We really just need a day to relax. So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to know where the nearest bath is so I can run myself a hot bath, start to destress and try to forget everything for a little while.”

They all stared at him for a moment and he stared right back,.

Finally, Allura spoke up. “You can go down the hallway Coran just came from. Take the first left and it will be the third room on your right.”

The control room was silent as Shiro walked briskly out.

Well. Coran should never have underestimated the power of the Paladin Luck™.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave comments and kudos to feed a starved writer...
> 
> Edit 10/12/19: Did some revising, added some more onto Lance's part.


End file.
